How to Write About Israel: A Guide for Aspiring Journalists

So you’re trying to make it in journalism. Great! It’s your lucky day because nothing grants journalists more page space and screen time than some conflict blowing up in Israel.

I know what you’re thinking – but the whole Middle East is a powder keg, surely any conflict over there will give me an opportunity to show the world my journalistic prowess!

Eh, not quite. Yes, it’s a powder keg, but there’s only so much tolerance the public has for seeing murder and destruction in the Middle East. I mean, you can’t beat them over the head with the fact that the Middle East is generally an authoritarian cesspool where women still get stoned to death. Yawn! That’s why you have to make sure to use this opportunity well.

How, you ask?

Give the people a good story. And there’s nothing readers like more than the tale of an underdog. There’s a reason everyone still knows who David and Goliath are.

So, give them what they want.

Don’t weigh them down with history or context. Most people only know the region as a big blob with the words, “Middle East: (” on their maps. Don’t alienate those people by writing for the few who know the history and complexities of the region. Don’t alienate all those readers with anything beyond what happened 40‑60 years ago.

There’s no need to mention that Jews are indigenous to Israel. No one wants to see the historical or archaeological evidence of that. SNOOZEFEST! You’ve lost their attention. They want to see blood, destruction, and crying mothers. Give them a Michael Bay movie of an article.

Every story needs a bad guy. So don’t show picture of average Israelis. Give them a bad guy that would make Disney squeal with glee. Show Israelis as soldiers. Show them on tanks, with guns, in the desert. Any photos of Israeli mothers weeping over the graves of their children or photos of Israeli babies in bomb shelters will be promptly edited out, so save your editor the trouble.

Hell, don’t even refer to them as people. Call them settlers, call them occupiers, call them anything but people.

If an Arab terrorist breaks into a home and murders a sleeping family of five, including three infant children, title the article, “5 Settlers Killed in West Bank.” That way, we give the heroes of our story motivation (very important in creative writing. Are you taking notes?). If you must, refer to it as a “terror attack,” quotes included, just to get people wondering whether this sleeping family mightn’t have deserved it just a little.

Use any source you can find. A story this hot doesn’t have time to pass through the proper channels. It must be told. You don’t have time to investigate. Quote the guy on the street, quote members of known terrorist organizations – I mean, these guys are down there in the nitty gritty, surely they know all the details and would have no reason to lie.

Use loaded words. Warplanes! BAM! Doesn’t that just get your attention? Why call it a car when you can call it something more interesting, like a four-wheeled pedestrian crusher? See how that works? Now you try.

Get crafty with your visuals. Look, few people read beyond the headline and fewer still look beyond the pictures, so make those photos interesting. Recycle images from Syria. They’ve really got some powerful images of death and terror coming out of there, though few people seem to notice. That’s fine. Put a bow on it, call it Israel, and you’re set. You can even Photoshop pictures if you have to. If it was good enough for Reuters, it’s good enough for you.

There are plenty of people out there who just want something to fight for. The details aren’t important. Just give them a banner to stand under and you’ll be giving them purpose in life (not to mention selling them precious copies). Because something you gotta remember in this line of work, magazines and newspapers are first and foremost businesses. They’ve got issues to sell. And if the issues don’t fly off the shelf, then you need to give them a little push.

Tatiana Sundeyeva has gotten into the terrible habit of thinking too much about everything. She enjoys fantasizing about traveling, compulsively buying literature, laughing at her own puns, and consuming anything (and everything) that can be found in a bakery. She is a graduate of UC Berkeley where she got a degree in English with a minor in Italian. She can be found celebrating awesome female friendships on LadyBromance.com.

by Tatiana Sundeyeva