Iranian Government Claims People Dancing In Streets Is Part Of The Mourning Process
TEHRAN, IRAN — According to official sources in the Iranian government, the masses of Iranian citizens singing, dancing, and setting off firecrackers in the streets during the five-day public grieving period following the death of former President Ebrahim Raisi are “going through part of the mourning process.” “As you can see, the people of Iran […]
TEHRAN, IRAN — According to official sources in the Iranian government, the masses of Iranian citizens singing, dancing, and setting off firecrackers in the streets during the five-day public grieving period following the death of former President Ebrahim Raisi are “going through part of the mourning process.”
“As you can see, the people of Iran are mourning just as hard as they can,” spokesperson Fariborz Tehrani shouted over the deafening tones of fireworks and cymbals. “This is just their way of showing how much they loved our Exalted Leader while he was alive. The numerous helicopter-shaped balloons and confetti are merely a part of the traditional Iranian mourning process and definitely not a sign of joy or exuberance at the death of the so-called Butcher of Tehran.”
“It is extremely touching to witness this outpouring of sorrowful devotion from the people,” austere religious scholar and expert on Iranian bereavement customs Javir Fakhri said as crowds chanted “Woman, Life, Freedom” outside. “Indeed, you can hear the loyal people of Tehran joyously celebrating the very things that their Beloved President upheld during his life.”
At publishing time, Iranian officials had released a statement that the Iranians throwing parties were merely “supporting the succession of acting president Mohammad Mokhber”.
The Babylon Bee
The Babylon Bee is the world’s best satire site, totally inerrant in all its truth claims. We write satire about Christian stuff, political stuff, and everyday life.
The Babylon Bee was created ex nihilo on the eighth day of the creation week, exactly 6,000 years ago. We have been the premier news source through every major world event, from the Tower of Babel and the Exodus to the Reformation and the War of 1812. We focus on just the facts, leaving spin and bias to other news sites like CNN and Fox News.
If you would like to complain about something on our site, take it up with God.
