French Men and Romance: Part 1

February brings a heightened sense of romantic fantasies and pressure to the mind. This is also the time of year when French men are at their peak of chauvinistic genius. They meticulously plot their days to encounter as many short-term foreign tourists as possible. They know that during the rest of the year women are in less of a hurry to secure a date, just as they know that none of their tricks would work on a French woman.

Thanks to the blinding effects of the ‘’French Romance’’ stereotype, French men enjoy the better part of each February in the company of exotic women, at a fraction of the price, time, and effort that is normally required to woo their beloved French ladies. Do not despair though, French men will only get away with as much as the new women in their lives allow. Over the years I have heard many dating stories from fellow foreign women in France which has enabled me to compile a list of some of the most common and hilarious ways French men will manipulate women into thinking that they are romantic, when in reality they are just cheap and lazy.

1) Wining and dining

The French are known for their elegant cuisine and fine wine, so choosing how to feed a foreign woman is a delicate balance between expected presentation and suitable prices. A typical romantic evening meal in Paris must consist of the following: typical French dishes, a fine bottle of wine or Champagne, six courses, and a great view of one of the many illuminated monuments interspersed throughout the city. In order to still make his date feel special and save money, a French man will contrive an evening meal that consists of everything she’ll expect, but for less than the cost of a typical cocktail. How does he pull that one off? The answer to such a conundrum is a picnic. The impromptu picnic will consist of a good five Euro bottle of wine, a cheap baguette, typical French cheese, and an assortment of cold cuts and crudités, with either a passion fruit salad, or a typical French pastry easily procured from the nearest bakery for desert. He saves money, and she thinks she just found Mr. Right.

2) The (C) harm of candle light

There are times when I wish I were creative enough to make up some of the stories I have to relate, this being one of them. Some years ago I had a friend who went on her first date in Paris, and yes it was on Valentine’s Day. After the usual meal and after-dinner stroll they went back to his place. She thought she was one of the lucky ones when upon entering his ‘’cozy’’ studio she was met with a blaze of lit candles. February is a relatively cold month in Paris, and for those who do not already know, heating in France costs a small annual fortune. Most inhabitants just suffer through the colder months, or choose to stay out in cafes or at a friend’s to avoid the price of heating their own apartment. My dear naïve friend didn’t realize this until much later into the evening when her excitement wore off enough for her to notice that she was both freezing because the candles had long burnt out and she suffered from a candle smoke-induced migraine. When she asked to turn on the heat her male companion simply lit more candles. Needless to say she was onto his little scheme and was out of there at the earliest opportunity. Whereas she left disappointed, I’m sure the guy thought it one of his most crowning moments, bravo monsieur!

3) No rose could match the rouge that so naturally adorns your perfect cheeks

Despite what individuals may think of the highly commercialized Valentine’s Day, many women still expect some small trifle of a gift, even if it’s just a hand-picked flower. However, French men have discovered over the years that if they start a date with nothing, their date will expect nothing further as the night progresses. Instead, he will show up empty-handed, with a whispered excuse similar to, ‘’I wanted to bring you a gift, but nothing I saw matched your natural beauty and originality.’’ Since the French are known to be philosophical, his date will immediately fall for the false compliment and move forward with rosy cheeks and an automatically low set of expectations for the rest of the night.

4) ‘’All the girls and boys of my age walk down the street two by two”—Francoise Hardy All the boys and girls, 1962

Like in the famous French song, All the boys and girls by Francoise Hardy, couples strolling the streets of Paris fully absorbed by one another’s presence is a common sight. Foreigners expect to see this when in Paris, and more than anything want to be a part of the tradition, and guess what, ladies – French men know this! Many people in Paris do not have driver’s licenses, let alone cars and the cost of taxis continues to rise. To avoid spending unnecessary money, French men will convince their dates to go on a long, albeit cold romantic promenade. She feels as if she is experiencing true French romantic culture at its best, while he strolls along patting his barely-touched wallet and congratulating himself on his resourcefulness.

5) Give a French guy a key, and he’ll use the whole apartment

In France the reality is that most people, both men and women either still live with their parents, or almost completely depend on their parents financially if under the age of thirty-two. Foreigner women may see this as a turn-off, especially American women who expect potential suitors to be at least as independent as they are. Knowing this, a French man will still try to impress his date, even if it is not by his own means. If his parents are away, he might bring her home, claiming that it is his apartment. If that is not an option, most of them will turn to friends. Near any holiday or weekend, guys are bound to have at least one friend who is either staying at his girlfriend’s place for the night, or on a weekend getaway. So, in honor of the Bro Code, French men readily lend their apartments to their friends as personal boudoirs. If his date has her own place he will convince her to go there, pretending that he wants to get to know her better by seeing her ‘’personal space.’’ In reality he just wants to avoid paying for a hotel room.

Jacqueline Perrier-Gillette is currently a resident of Paris, France, where she lives with her husband. Together the two of them operate their small translation company, giving Jacqueline the opportunity to observe the French and their culture up close. She is an avid reader, writer, and student of foreign languages.

By Jacqueline Perrier-Gillette