Minor Error?

NEW YORK, NY—A special ABC News report Friday stated that a deranged President Donald Trump nuked the entire world, flattening the entirety of civilization into a gooey nothingness, before later issuing a minor correction stating that he actually just microwaved a burrito.

ABC News reporter Brian Ross broke the erroneous story, describing in great detail how Trump had finally decided he’d had enough and launched over 4,000 nuclear warheads at every single country on the planet. The White House quickly disputed the story, however, pointing out that in reality, the only thing Trump had nuked was a microwavable burrito “for 90 seconds on High.”

“We apologize for the minor error,” an ABC News spokesperson said Monday after the clarification had been issued. “One of our reporters did seem to suggest that Donald Trump instigated a nuclear apocalypse, destroying nearly all of humanity, and we recognize that is a minor factual error when compared with the actual event that occurred, that being the simple microwaving of a frozen snack.”

At publishing time, ABC News had reported that former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn was a Russian spy, before later clarifying that he had simply been seen purchasing a bottle of vodka.

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