Citing Racist History, Harvard Bans Us-ing The Word ‘Harvard’

CAMBRIDGE, MA — Following the courageous example of USC, which just banned the word “field” for its racist connotations, Harvard University has announced they will no longer allow students or faculty to use the word “Harvard” due to its own tragic history of racism.

“Sadly, this very university, which shall not be named, was built on a foundation of white supremacy, misogyny, nationalism, homophobia, transphobia, Islamophobia, xenophobia, slavery, white people, men, white men, Christian white men, and all the other bad stuff,” said Sheree Ohen of the Harvard University Office for Equity, Diversity, Inclusion, and Gay Stuff. “I was also heartbroken to discover that Harvard’s campus has several areas of green grass known as ‘fields.’ It’s disgusting.”

Ohen was then hauled before a disciplinary committee for accidentally using the word “field.”

At publishing time, Harvard had announced they had discontinued use of the entire rest of the English language due to its history of colonialism.

By Babylon Bee

Source: https://babylonbee.com

The Babylon Bee is the world’s best satire site, totally inerrant in all its truth claims. We write satire about Christian stuff, political stuff, and everyday life.

The Babylon Bee was created ex nihilo on the eighth day of the creation week, exactly 6,000 years ago. We have been the premier news source through every major world event, from the Tower of Babel and the Exodus to the Reformation and the War of 1812. We focus on just the facts, leaving spin and bias to other news sites like CNN and Fox News.

If you would like to complain about something on our site, take it up with God.