Kamala’s 7 Debate Demands Revealed

The Babylon Bee has exclusively obtained the following list of demands made by the Harris campaign prior to tomorrow’s debate:

1. Only questions about what kind of spices she uses when cooking:This is the type of thing Americans want to hear.
2. Moderators must respond to all of Kamala’s answers with “you KNOWdas right” or “guuuuuurl, say it!”: Conversely, all of Trump’s answers must be met with boos and hisses.
3. The debate is to be held 3 hours before air time and edited down to her best 7 minutes:It’s standard practice with all Kamala Harris public appearances.
4. She will be awarded extra points for each accent she uses:Being multi-lingual should have its advantages.
5. Trump will be docked speaking time for being white and male:Plus, he’s wealthy, so he’s lucky to even be allowed to speak at all.
6. Jamaal Bowman must be stationed by the fire alarm:Just in case things aren’t going Kamala’s way.
7. She must be given the opportunity to sleep with the moderator the night before:Kamala always has to have her secret weapon up her sleeve.

While Kamala drives a hard bargain, it’s plain to see that the viewing public is in for quite a treat tomorrow night — especially once everything Trump says is edited out.

Babylon Bee

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