Emperor Hirohito Calls For Ceasefire After Bombing Of Pearl Harbor
TOKYO — After a devastating and tragic surprise attack on Pearl Harbor, Japanese Em-peror Hirohito has called for a ceasefire.
“The loss of life on both sides is a tragedy,” Hirohito said in a speech requesting an end to hostilities. “Now that we have pulverized the American naval fleet, we respectfully request that the United States look for ways to promote peace and not take any steps to retaliate until we attack you again. Thank you.”
American leaders had already begun talks to enter the war against the Axis Powers but were now bombarded with calls to engage in peace talks instead. “The timing of Japan’s request does seem a little suspicious,” said Captain Mike Rotunda, a United States Navy spokesman. “I mean, they literally asked for a ceasefire immediately after attacking us. It puts us in a weird position because that’s not really how ceasefires work.”
Segments of the American public pleaded with leaders to hold back on planning a counterattack and instead listen to Japanese calls for peace. “It would be immoral to strike back at Japan,” said one Congressman. “Yes, they just bombed America’s naval base. Yes, they seriously crippled our fleet. Yes, they killed over 2,000 Americans. But now they want peace, so we should totally believe them. It’s not like they would do anything sneaky.”
At publishing time, U.S. officials had tentatively agreed to a ceasefire in good faith despite new reports that more Japanese planes laden with bombs were on their way to Hawaii.
Babylon Bee
The Babylon Bee is the world’s best satire site, totally inerrant in all its truth claims. We write satire about Christian stuff, political stuff, and everyday life.
The Babylon Bee was created ex nihilo on the eighth day of the creation week, exactly 6,000 years ago. We have been the premier news source through every major world event, from the Tower of Babel and the Exodus to the Reformation and the War of 1812. We focus on just the facts, leaving spin and bias to other news sites like CNN and Fox News.
If you would like to complain about something on our site, take it up with God.