How To Prevent Car Accident?
BENTONVILLE, AR—In a bold move intended to curb the thousands of deaths from vehicles each and every day, Walmart has decided to stop selling auto parts, sources confirmed Tuesday.
According to shocking reports, people have purchased car parts at Walmart and then those cars have been involved in accidents, proving a direct correlation between selling auto parts and causing deaths.
“We can no longer be complicit in an industry that kills over 3,000 people a day,” said a spokesperson for Walmart. “Every time we sell a muffler, steering wheel cover, or flame decal, we are potentially causing the death of a person, and we cannot support that any longer.”
“It’s clear that bad drivers and poor road conditions don’t cause vehicular deaths—cars do.”
Walmart executives said they are beating themselves with a stick to atone for the deaths they’ve already caused.
“Our consciences will only be clean when we’ve been mercilessly beaten once for each of the millions of deaths that have been caused by automobiles since Walmart began selling auto parts,” said one executive before solemnly beginning to beat himself with a baseball bat.
Babylon Bee
Source: https://babylonbee.com
The Babylon Bee is the world’s best satire site, totally inerrant in all its truth claims. We write satire about Christian stuff, political stuff, and everyday life.
The Babylon Bee was created ex nihilo on the eighth day of the creation week, exactly 6,000 years ago. We have been the premier news source through every major world event, from the Tower of Babel and the Exodus to the Reformation and the War of 1812. We focus on just the facts, leaving spin and bias to other news sites like CNN and Fox News.
If you would like to complain about something on our site, take it up with God.
