The Value of an Expatriate’s Opinion

The outcome of a decision can be determined by the source of information. When buying a house people reach out to friends as well as professionals before making a final decision. The same can be said concerning travel commitments, go beyond the limited opinion of a friend who only spent three days in the city of interest. Traveling is not as serious as buying a house, but travelers who want the best information from both sides should consult people other than former tourists before booking a flight.

After spending years living abroad, I now find myself in the strange position of being an expatriate. This did not occur to me until I realized that no one believes my account of Paris. Prospective and newly-arrived tourists are obstinate on sticking to the information provided to them by a friend of a friend who spent a whole three days in the city. I understand, for I too was a naïve tourist in Paris with unrealistic expectations. I was so blinded by all of the typical stereotypes that I had little time to observe and understand the real demeanor of the city. Throughout the years I have been able to separate the realities of Paris from the ideal versions Americans are raised to believe. Alas, the dream-like atmosphere of Woody Allen’s Paris does not exist. I know this as a fact, however I find myself being confronted by ill-informed tourists who seem to believe they know better.

Tourists have a hard time accepting that Paris is not the exciting backdrop to an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel. Telling the less-appealing aspects of Paris to a tourist equates to the reaction one might see distort the countenance of a five-year-old upon hearing that Santa Clause does not exist. They process the information as a cruel joke or a bitter complaint. When an American ex-pat living in Paris says something about the city that falls short of fairy tale characteristics, it is not to be rude, close-minded or negative. We do not see the need to point out the positives because those are self evident. The true negatives of any city are less publicized, so we make it our duty to enlighten people to those aspects. Yet tourists seem to think they know more about Paris than anyone else. They base their entire premise of a country, city, and culture off of one short vacation of fun foreign experiences. Ex-pats offer this advice so that tourists can protect themselves against any ridicule or deception that might come their way due to foreign misunderstandings.

In comparison to certain aspects of American culture, the French come across as rude. They are not in the habit of saying “excuse me,” smiling, socializing with strangers, waiting in line, or taking into account other people’s existence. The French have a long, bloody past resulting in a deep mistrust of government and strangers. That same history is wrought with elitism, which emphasized the division between the royal and noble rich and the poor peasants. That sense of pride and elitism still exists today in France. History has taught the modern French person that money and social standing decides your social class, and therefore privileges. Americans who were raised to believe in social equality will see this as rude. Taking this advice can spare the average tourist some embarrassing situations.

Despite good intentions, tourists can find themselves at the end of disrespectful treatment in Paris without ever knowing it. I have overheard waiters making absurd comments about friendly American families, right in front of them. I have witnessed that same family being overcharged by that same waiter. The family walks away, none-the-wiser because they lacked the knowledge of the French language and culture that otherwise would have protected them against such ridicule. I have seen tourists so grossly engaged in sightseeing that they do not notice when someone steps on their feet, makes a rude gesture or pushes them for no reason without excusing themselves. Their lack of observation blindly leads them to believe that they were never mistreated.

Young American women fall victim to vulgar criticism too often in Paris. Certain states in the U.S. are more open-minded when it comes to female attire than Paris. Revealing shorts may not draw a lot of looks in California, but in Paris it draws unwanted attention. When I tell people that the overall style in Paris is conservative, they do not believe me. I met a fellow Californian during a language course a few years ago who was in the habit of dressing as if she were still in California. One day, while walking home from school, she was half pushed, half pulled into an alley where a young French man offered her a ring in exchange for certain services. She walked away unharmed, but she never felt comfortable expressing her own sense of style in Paris after that. In a similar incident, I overheard a female American at a café telling a friend how wonderful she found Paris to be, and how none of the negative stereotypes actually exist. She was explaining how friendly and helpful Parisians are. However, as her narrative continued, it became evident that these helpful Parisians only consisted of men, and that their kindness was actually just aggressive flirtation.

If she knew more about French culture, she would have known that the manner in which these men were addressing her was considered vulgar and offensive. They were not being kind to her, they were in fact addressing her in a manner normally reserved for prostitutes in France. Yet she will return to the U.S., like many before her, spreading the never-ending belief that Paris is perfect. Ignorantia est beatitudinis.

France ranks as the country in Europe where natives speak the lowest level of English. Therefore, it is not true that most of the French speak English. Those who claim to speak English can only communicate at an elementary level, which should not be confused with the ability to actually speak English. According to the French, Americans who have an elementary level of French do not speak French. There is no need to dish out compliments to the French when they are not willing to return the favor. Accepting this as a reality might make someone’s trip more enjoyable if they know beforehand that they have to learn some basic phrases in French.

There are many adjustments ex-pats have to make when living in Paris. This is a long process, through which we learn information about the French that tourists cannot learn firsthand. Tourists unfairly judge ex-pats who state the truth about the good and bad of the city as being close-minded and superficial. We do not point out negative differences between the U.S. and France to sound ungrateful or uncultured. The opposite is true, we have opened our minds enough to accept, understand, and live under foreign conditions in addition to a foreign language. We have opened our minds enough to state the good and bad of both countries. Despite differences between the two cultures, it is still possible to spend a problem-free vacation in Paris, as long as you are aware of the issues to avoid. I hope that in the future, tourists will take information provided by ex-pats in Paris as helpful guidelines.

Jacqueline Perrier-Gillette is currently a resident of Paris, France, where she lives with her husband. Together the two of them operate their small translation company, giving Jacqueline the opportunity to observe the French and their culture up close. She is an avid reader, writer, and student of foreign languages.

By Jacqueline Perrier-Gillette