Never a Dull Moment in Cologne

Any time spent in Europe will indubitably result in unique firsthand experiences. With that said, I have to admit that while living in France I felt as if something was lacking: humor. In the short amount of time that I’ve been in Cologne though, I discovered that the Germans can be very serious, but equally, if not more, humorous. The overall laid-back respect that people here have for one another more than compensates for the sometimes overwhelming stress of city living.

In the club

I admittedly had my reservations about re-entering the club scene after my five year hiatus. I possessed the usual worries of someone my age: that I wouldn’t know enough of the new songs, or even have the energy to pull an all-nighter. Surprisingly though, I not only knew all of the songs, but the associated choreography as well. This is not because I am in tune with the younger generations, but because the younger Germans have an obsession with everything 90s and American. I knew it was going to be a good night when upon entering the club the DJ started playing “Backstreet’s Back,” all right! When I was a googly-eyed teenager, I fantasized about being old enough to actually go out and enjoy some of these cult-songs in clubs. Well, thank you Cologne for allowing me to live out that fantasy.

Whether you’re coming home late from a nocturnal adventure or simply embarking on an early morning obligation, Friday and Saturday mornings bring with them a cast of characters unique to Cologne. One such memorable incident occurred on my first night out here. On my way home, a group of young men entered the underground train, seemingly tipsy but otherwise normal. That is, until they turned to retrieve their awaiting wheelbarrow filled to the brim with cheap McDonald’s cheeseburgers. Once aboard, they began distributing them to anyone who would accept.

Unique as a wheelbarrow of cheeseburgers may seem, it is to be expected in the early hours on the weekend. Which is why I was thrown off guard one morning on my way to school when I and the rest of my fellow commuters were exposed to a fifteen minute drunken rant about, “Hitler and his damn Nazis.” In the beginning, I wasn’t sure how I was allowed to react as a foreigner, knowing that this is such a sensitive subject in Germany. So I waited for the others to react, expecting slurs of anger and a staged coup to oust the hooligan at the next stop, but the opposite happened. People were joking right along with him and generating an overall good vibe. When he did eventually exit, he had one last surprise up his sleeve: he came around to my side of the window and began slamming his liquor bottle aggressively against the window in attempt to obtain both my attention and that of the man seated next to me. Before the train left he was able to make it clear that he thought the man next to me should ask me for my number. Ah everyone’s a matchmaker these days.

Germany has an official Mother’s Day, but for some reason the country does not have an official Father’s Day. One thing is certain: German men can be quite resourceful when they want to be. To compensate for the lack of German government support of men, they rallied together to mark May 14^th  as the official, unofficial Father’s Day. If this date looks familiar, that’s because it is. This holiday is celebrated throughout the world in honor of Jesus’ Ascension to heaven, so naturally this was the logical choice for Father’s Day. The traditions vary from region to region, but the costume generally dictates that men meet en masse starting as early as eight in the morning. They fill a wagon with ice and beer, attach some decorations, maybe even add some music and then walk around drinking until they pass out somewhere in the evening. In Cologne, I only witnessed a few of these “Man-Groups” and they didn’t appear to be very drunk. I mostly saw men spending quality time with their children or with friends over a BBQ or picnic. In Hamburg however, the day went a little differently since this is one of the regions where men take their “Man Day” very seriously. In one small village the casualties were as usual: one dead and several hospitalized, this information was reported as normally as pointing out that it might rain.

Jacqueline Perrier-Gillette is currently a resident of Paris, France, where she lives with her husband. Together the two of them operate their small translation company, giving Jacqueline the opportunity to observe the French and their culture up close. She is an avid reader, writer, and student of foreign languages.

By Jacqueline Perrier-Gillette