Lessons From Experience: How to Pretend You’re Not a Tourist

By Tatiana Sundeyeva

            When I travel, I go to great lengths to hide my identity as a tourist because I’ve learned that, besides the obvious dangers of getting ripped off in a taxi, getting mugged in the park, or just drawing unwanted attention to yourself, you risk another unpleasant reality: having an inauthentic experience. Even if you go out of your way to places where fellow tourists seldom set foot, the sheer fact of looking like a tourist will get you treated like one. And I’ve been spoken to condescendingly or rudely enough times to know that for the most part, tourists don’t get much love. So, I’ve compiled a short list of things you could do to remain incognito.

• Hide your map—I carry a map with me like one would carry a shameful secret. I keep it hidden and resent each time that I need to refer to it. When it’s absolutely necessary, I find a quiet corner somewhere to open it privately because not only does it send up the single most obvious tourist flag, it’s also putting you in a position in which you’re completely vulnerable to any sort of unpleasantness. The same caution should be applied to taking photographs.
• Avoid the fashion giveaways—No one is expected to completely alter their style or adopt the fashions of the local country in order to blend in, but there are a few glaring indications that you should be aware of: the baseball cap, running shoes, and any item that’s overly flashy. The two former items will immediately identify you as an American and the latter should be reserved for once you’ve gotten a feel for the place (because sometimes, the locals’ flashiness will put even the Jersey Shore kids to shame).
• Speak easy—There’s one thing that always stands out with Americans abroad: high public noise level. Not only is it annoying, but it’s guaranteed to make you a target of either crime or dirty looks. I maintain that the one time my friend got her wallet stolen in Paris was when she was speaking English with me on the metro. Otherwise, she’d have passed off as Parisian with no problem.
• Act confident—Sure, you’re walking into a dead end that you thought would take you back to your hotel or the dish you ordered turns out be some kind of local sea creature instead of steak, but if you show uncertainty or surprise, you reveal your secret identity. So, give it your best bored look and troop on with purpose, because faking it is all about confidence.

Of course, there are some ways in which you will give yourself away that are inevitable. But I try to blend in as much as possible to a reasonable degree because there’s nothing quite like being asked directions by a fanny-packed group of tourists only to see their reaction when they discover that yes, you do speak English, and you’d be happy to help.

Tatiana Sundeyeva enjoys travel, literature, puns, and anything with an unhealthy sugar content. And not necessarily in that order. She is a graduate of UC Berkeley where she got a degree in English with a minor in Italian.