How to be Parisian: Easy to Follow Tips

The arrival of spring means two things to Parisians: the sun has finally made an appearance after months of hibernation and the hordes of tourists are back. Try as they might, tourists are always easy to spot in the crowd. A little bit of effort to blend in with locals can be beneficial to everyone involved. Locals will be slightly less anxious and therefore a little nicer to those visiting their fair city (according to Parisian standards, of course). Visitors would likewise benefit from not calling too much attention to themselves. Not only will locals be nicer to them, but they will be less likely to fall victim to theft because the primary targets for thieves are foreign tourists. Assuming that the purpose of a vacation in Paris is to enjoy a foreign cultural experience without an unscheduled visit to the police station, be sure to follow these crucial tips for how best to blend in with Parisians.

1) A la mode

Despite the many bad qualities associated with Parisians, one thing that is hard to dispute is their natural sense of fashion. Granted, the city does have its fashion rebels, but even their lack of fashion is a fashion statement. There is no need to run out and blow a paycheck on designer clothes – fashion often means wearing colors appropriate to the season or if in doubt, black is always fashionable. Make sure to always accessorize – this includes belts and handbags of course, but the most important accessory for a Parisian, man or woman, is the scarf. No matter the weather, you must either wear one, or have one visible. On those humid days men can get away with not wearing one, but women are still expected to have one stylishly tied to a handbag. Fashion trends are understandably not for everyone, but no matter what, avoid dressing like an americain(e) typique. That means no khaki shorts, comfort sandals, tucked in baggy t-shirts, safari hats, a fanny pack, and please if possible avoid the ten pound camera hanging from the neck. Unless of course you want your wallet and passport stolen.

2) Hurry and take your time!

Parisians are masters at being in a hurry while managing to be late to everything. If fitting in is the goal, avoid panic-induced rushing. The best way to achieve this illusion is by scowling as if stressed out and upset, tense your muscles as if preparing for speed-walking and then walk slower than a toddler. This goes for everything, under no circumstances will your average Parisian run to catch a bus, a metro, or an appointment. Ce n’est pas chic! Each Parisian likes to believe that he or she is the center of the universe and well, making an effort to be on time would indicate that they are not special enough for people to gladly wait for them. Likewise Parisians tend to ignore cars, traffic lights, lines, crosswalks, or the usage of their blinkers.

3) When shoulders collide

Since Parisians pretend to not see or hear anything that isn’t directly related to their greatness, be prepared for sore shoulders. In Paris, locals do not look where they are going because somehow they are each convinced that everyone else either doesn’t exist or is more than happy to move out of their way. I know what you’re thinking: So how can you avoid being shoved? Well, you can’t. Even when there are only two people on an otherwise empty sidewalk, there will be a collision, and each will pretend to be offended knowing very well it was intentional. So, just go with it, be just as pushy and try not to take personal offense when it happens. Their technique is to pretend not to see anything, so look off in the distance and pretend to be too absorbed to walk correctly.

4) Paris: Where indifference is a virtue

The best way to be Parisian while visiting the city is to act as if you are bored by everything. That goes for the Eiffel Tower too, because after all, according to the locals, only peasants are excited by such mundane feats. Of course this is an act; Parisians secretly relish every meter of their beloved tower. When out and about, ignore everything around you; That includes falling elderly, unaccompanied toddlers teetering at the edge of a busy street curb, struggling mothers panting as they heave their baby and stroller up and down three flights of stairs, and oh yeah! That dead homeless guy on the train, just ignore him too! If someone drops a wallet or something else of value, keep moving – there’s no room for being a good Samaritan in this city. Unfortunately, these examples are not fictitious. They, and other terrible things I’ve seen, are all from personal experience while living in Paris.

Jacqueline Perrier-Gillette is currently a resident of Paris, France, where she lives with her husband. Together the two of them operate their small translation company, giving Jacqueline the opportunity to observe the French and their culture up close. She is an avid reader, writer, and student of foreign languages.

By Jacqueline Perrier-Gillette